Sunday, March 29, 2020

Facing Your Feelings

I stopped giving my emotional damage much thought when I thought I had a handle on how to subdue the pain. Sometimes it's easy to just treat the symptoms by doing what makes you feel better instead of getting to the root of the issue. Sometimes it's easy to ignore the root issue when you're not being faced with reminders of your past.

But when you do get reminded, all the emotions come rushing back. Suddenly all the memories start swirling in your head, and then a whiff of anger may hit you, or sadness, or regret, or everything all at once. Then the questioning starts, and you're living in those painful moments trying to analyze and find the reasons why everything went wrong.
And it's hard not to entertain those thoughts when...well...they stem from the issues you have in your heart.

Experiencing heartbreak is what caused me to have some 'heart' issues or emotional issues that I thought I had handled by just not thinking about it, living life, and not looking back, yada yada. But ignoring the issues in my heart did not eradicate those issues. Those issues just became dormant until something triggered it. Then I wondered why I was angry and crying about my heartbreak that happened 5 years ago, as if it happened yesterday. Of course I repeated the same process of "just getting over it," and not thinking about it, but that never works for long.

So how do I eradicate this issue completely? I mean for good. Well first, instead of just brushing over my heart, I have to take a good look at it and see the condition that it's in.

I want to be truly, truly at peace. Like no thought about any ounce of my past moves me or brings me even close to tears, or anger, or sadness. I don't want to care enough to relive it and think about it over and over again. Emotional pain takes time to heal from, like serious time, but I think a lot of us don't give ourselves that time. We spend so much time trying to find a quick fix and ignoring just how complex and delicate our hearts are.

Emotions are not something to run away from. I think, instead, they're something to embrace and take heed to because they could be telling us the condition of our hearts.


Until next time.



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