I am the Master of my Thoughts

Just when I thought I was on the right track, BAM, I get hit with emotions I thought I had dealt with.

For the past couple of weeks, I've found myself reliving the past, which brought back certain emotions and I didn't know how to handle it. I found myself feeling angry and hurt all over again as if all of this personal growth I've gained went straight out the door. I talked myself through all of the questions and the confusion, as if I had never been through it before. I literally thought something was wrong with me. I thought, "Well great Temp, back to square one." But no it's not that I wasn't over it, it's just that the mind is a thing of its own. 

Even though you can't always control what comes into your mind, you can control what you do with whatever does come into it. Instead of dismissing the past, I entertained it, which I shouldn't have done. I could feel myself sinking, and I continued to torture myself  instead of just telling my mind to STOP.

I really wish I could get my brain shocked or something, you know? Like just so I can completely have no memory of nameless and what he put me through. That would mean no. reminders. EVER. Wow. Imagine that. 

Point is, I've already gone through the heartbreak and I'm past that stage of my life. When things like the situation with nameless comes back to me, it doesn't mean that I'm still in that same place of hurt because I know that I'm not. It's just that when my thoughts remind me of that place, I have to tell my mind that I'm not in that place anymore. I have to make those thoughts stop because NOTHING will come from me thinking about them but more tears, and a reminder that I don't want over my head.

So, I will make the effort to no longer allow whatever comes into my head about the past to have a hold over me. I'm not in that dark place anymore, and I never ever want to go back to that. I came too far to go back now. It's just all in my head. And I have gained more than enough mental power to take control and fight those thoughts. I am the master of my thoughts. I just gotta remember that. 

Until next time.

P.S: The link to my sister blog Tales of a Broken Heart was broken (ha no pun intended) but it is now up and running.